Dear Professor Blackstone,
I am Royson, a first-year student studying mechanical engineering at the Singapore Institute of Technology. I am writing to introduce myself and to share my expectations and goals from your class.
Having graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a diploma in aerospace technology and a Specialization in Aviation Management, I jumped at the opportunity to join the Republic of Singapore Air Force (RSAF) as an engineer. During my occupation, my team and I maintained and oversaw the flying operations of unmanned aircraft. Since young, I have always had an interest in aircraft which explains my desire to study in this field. I would watch clips of aviation disasters during my leisure as it fascinates me to find out the causes and events leading to the accident. I learnt the importance of communication as most disasters originate from poor communication. The experience in school and work further piqued my interest in expanding my knowledge and skills.
One of my strengths is that I am a good team player. Throughout my five years working in the RSAF, I met people of various backgrounds and personalities. We faced numerous challenges along the way, but we conquered and delivered optimal results due to our strong collaboration. Additionally, I was awarded the Best Airman of the Month in February 2021, which recognized my leadership skills and ability to work with my colleagues. Despite being a good team player, I do have areas to improve on which is to become an active listener. As someone who is not afraid to shy away from conversation, I sometimes overshadow the voices of my peers.
I believe that communication is a two-way process and hence, my goal is to become an active listener and to be able to better express myself in an organized manner, ultimately becoming a better communicator.
Thank you for taking your time and I hope to learn more about you as time passes!
Best Regards,
Royson
I like that you included very good examples that show your interest in aviation and engineering, such as your interest from when you were young, as well as your experience in the RSAF. I also like your use of vocabulary such as "jumped at the opportunity", which really highlighted your enthusiasm and interest.
ReplyDeleteHowever, one point that I think you can improve on is your point on your weakness, which I feel can be further elaborated on with examples. I also feel that you can elaborate more on your experiences in school that you talked about in para 2. Overall, the introduction letter is very well done!
Hey May, thanks for the feedback. I will take note to elaborate more on the elaboration!
DeleteVery interesting, I ever thought of signing on as well as I am someone who likes to follow instructions by instructions and also like to give them out as well.
ReplyDeleteI can tell by first impression you were someone with leadership as you just gave off a vibe of being calm and someone to think through before you speaks.
It was an impressive write-up!
Hi Philbert, thanks for pointing out that I gave you a good first impression. I will continue to improve on myself.
DeleteHi Royson,
ReplyDeleteIn terms of your content, you have good use of PEEL format for all your pointers. Your work in the RSAF makes me wonder what would it be like for someone who is able to work on military aircrafts, seeing Singapore's F15s and F16s on a daily basis. Language use is clear and accurate with an appropriate tone as well as use of vocabulary. Pointers are also well organized.
However, I feel that you could relate your strength (good team player) more towards communication strength. You could say that you are able to negotiate with people, you are a persuasive person, have good management skills in relaying information etc etc which makes you a good team player as well. Your explanation and example alone has a lot of good potential.
Overall, I really enjoyed learning more about you and your experiences and your letter is well-written.
Yo Robin! Thanks for the suggestion on the ways I can improve on my writings. I hope to interact with you more in the upcoming classes!
DeleteHey Royson,
ReplyDeleteGreat content! I can see how your work in the RSAF and your interests when you were young led to your overall interest in engineering. I particularly felt that your takeaway about communication, when you watched shows from aviation disasters was good too.
I figured the part about your weakness could use an example although I do see the elaboration about how it can affect others. So that part is good.
Other than that, I enjoyed the flow of your content, and the language use was well done too. Great letter!
Hey Isaac, I'm glad you pointed out my interest. Hope to share with you more about my knowledge in aviation disasters if you are interested too!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Royson, for this well crafted and highly informative letter. I especially appreciate the sharing you’ve done in terms of your unique journey toward mechanical engineering. The way that your childhood interest in aircraft and and aviation disasters fascinated you is particularly impressive.
ReplyDeleteYou go on to detail your air force experience, including the opportunity to be a team leader. It's always interesting to me how quickly 'leaders'emerge in a class, and as I read details about your previous work, I kept thinking to myself öf "course."
Now I look forward to seeing how you and your new project team embrace the challenge of our problem-solution assignment.
Best wishes,
Brad